The only thing I feel around me is the feeling of being forlorn and it isn’t really something I like to feel. Today I learned that I was born alone and will live my life alone. I had a nice shower after trying out my home made wax. I again prefer to state here that it’s rather easier to stick to shaving. The guys had gone for their boys night get together and I thought it would be nice to spend some time with my girlfriends. I went over to Hilda and Linda’s room and sadly they weren’t really free. Hilda was with someone and Linda was out. Then I decided to get to a nearby room and I heard a girl’s voice o why bother him. I went over to many peoples room but everyone was spending their time with their special someone. I thought it would be good if I come home and spend my evening with the cat and I guess even he had someone else in mind. Sad I know, but that’s simply my life. I decided to pray, but then I had to stop because I knew I was getting no where. At this moment I miss home, miss home so very much. If only I was at home, my mom would at least be there for me. My dad would have been there to share his shoulders and so were my sisters. I miss Bianca there and hate her for not being there for me. I miss kippu for trying to be a Romanian and not at least replying my letters. I miss ashu for moving to Delhi and have no net service. I miss all of them and wish they were really near by to be here when I needed someone to really talk to right now. I was just wasting my phone credit on sms which wasn’t for the right person I think. I dint get any reply even from home. Guess every one was busy. I logged on line and it made me feel even worst. From 239 mails I had only one made sense. A mail from a very close friend that made me smile because he calls me K, made me wonder if that was my real name for a while. I used my table as my tabla and played along many songs to pass the evening. I had time to think about who was I once. I used to sing and play the tabla and that too without any teacher helping me out. I picked it up from a school cultural show and I had a friend who plays it really well so I decided to learn from him. I learned the veena too and was rather good. And now I am sitting here in Russia without any practice, without any hobby, without any interest except passing my exams. Call it PMS, but I doubt it. I found a grey hair today and that even made me sicker. I guess I should just call it a day. And yes, Neel, I do miss you too. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend.