Breaking up brings in lot of grief, pain andresentment. Learn how to cope up with the situationand how to control your emotions.

SURVIVING LOST LOVE

When one door of happiness closes, another opens: butoften we look so long at the closed door that we donot see the one that has been opened for us.

Step One: Allow yourself time to heal, and know that you canheal. Whether the loss is due to death, rejection, orother reason. It is normal to grieve over a loss of alove for any reason. It usually takes two to threeyears for a couple whose relationship has broken up tobegin to put their lives back together again. Itsometimes takes five years for individuals andfamilies to get over the emotional pain and trauma.Many people can have serious health and emotionalproblems during this time

BUT... Step Two: Realize that you still can find happiness. Realizethat you can control how you think, what you thinkabout, and how much. A key is to concentrate on thepositives you have in the present. Not thinking aboutthe future or past

Step Three: Activily work to feel better. Act happy and smile.Even if you don't feel that way, it should start tomake you feel that way. Life will be better.
Letting Go Dealing with "Breaking up" is a difficult thing to dobut one has to realize that whatever happens is forthe best. You have to learn to deal with the situationthat your lover is no more there in your life…..he isgone and you have to learn to forget him and live yourlife. You have to let go and move on. It's the crucialstep in moving on to a healthy life. The followinglist gives you some tips and exercises that can helpyou with the process:
1. The first thing that you have to do is practice"Thought controlling". It's normal to have recurringthoughts about your ex. One way to do it is to decideon a specific time of day where you will give yourselfover to the thoughts. At that time think about your exand think about someone else you like. Again thinkabout him and then think about your work. By doingthis you will learn to control your thoughts. If youfind yourself obsessing at other times, force yourselfto "change the channel" in your brain, or pickyourself up and do something constructive - listen toyour favourite music, take a walk, exercise, water theplants, etc.

2. Instead of lamenting the end, celebrate it. Put onsome music, throw a party for yourself, jump up anddown, and yell, "Thank God he is out of my life!"

3. Call all your friends and have them pep you up. Getyour pals on the phone and ask them to remind you ofall your wonderful traits. Let them take your side andtell you how wonderful you are.

4. Deal with the situation pragmatically. If you wereinvolved in a relationship with a married man and herefuses to leave his wife for you. You know that heloves you very much, but he can't leave because he isworried about his kids, his business, and his wife.This situation is quite natural and expected so ifonly you had looked at the situation logically fromthe beginning, you wouldn't have been as devastated asyou are after he leaves you. While it will be stupidto punish yourself, you should have been prepared forthe possibility.

5. Reaffirm that you deserve to be treated well. Goover all the sides of the story. Was he mean, cruel,insensitive? And then tell yourself that you deservebetter.

6. Keep a sense of humor. Research has shown thatlaughter strengthens the immune system. So laugh andforget your pain.

7. Flush out your anger. Write your ex a letter,pouring out your hurt, disappointment, and anger --but don't send it. Or else think he is in front of youand then pour out your anger on him or pour out youranger on a punching bag. That's a good way to purgeyour feelings.

8. Rebuild trust. Don't generalize men as "MCP". Ofcourse, trust gets shattered after you're hurt, buttry to forget the past and keep a clean slate. If youlive in fear, imagining that all men are unfaithfuland are not trustworthy, this is the reality that youwill create. Be open to new relationships and learn totrust people who are trustworthier, and who are worthyof your trust.

9. Most important thing is "Don't blame yourself forwhat happened". It is not your fault that your ex leftyou. He is just not good for you and he doesn'tdeserve you


pst people....rejoice and celebrate being single!